About Me

The name's Courtney. I tell stories & i love to laugh. sometimes i smile so much that my cheeks get sore...i have many interests and will talk about anything. Here you'll find journal entries & my perspective on Art, Music, Makeup, Fashion, Food, Film, Photography, Traveling, and everything inbetween. i've only lived for so long but i feel like i've experienced a lot. +there is deffinately nothing wrong with living to eat.
~see introdiction - 1st post~
contact me @ hsucourtney@aol.com
(all images are mine unless noted)

Saturday, January 31, 2009

I Hate My Mom.

journal entry #4
Sometimes i really hate my life. its amazing how one person can change everything. in this case from happy/neutral to tearshedding outrage + anger (on my part). + obviously i'm talking about my mom. she is so full of bullshit and evil. i don't know how the world could produce such a thing. i know kids that say that say they hate their parents but they really don't they're just saying it. simple everyday annoyances do not count for you to hate them. that's normal. like my dad can be annoying but i still love him. always will.

i know you probably hate/strongly dislike the fact that i honestly hate her but you just don't know her or what i've gone through. i'm not persuading you to hate her or anything, this is just a post. (it's funny cus all my friends are scared of her lol) Do you really think i haven't thought long and hard about it. ofcourse i have! & it is so hard. no child wants to hate their mom. but i've denied it for so long and by the time i realized it, i couldn't keep lying to myself. i've given her so many chances of being a better person but i just end up dissapointing myself. things will never change. this is just the way it is.

i hate that everything i do i wrong.
i hate that my mom favors my brother.
i hate that i can never depend on her.
i hate that she doesn't act like a mom.
i hate that she's delusional.
i hate that she punishes me for no reason.
i hate that she thinks shes always right.
i hate that she lies to me.
i hate that she thinks i'm a liar.
i hate that she never listens.
i hate that i can never go out or enjoy myself when shes around.
i hate that she drives me crazy.
i hate that my dad won't defend me.
i hate that my brother makes the situation worse.
i hate that she makes me depressed.
i hate that she makes me feel guilty.
i hate that she thinks i'm a bad person.

i hate that she can never change.

She has also gone to a tharapist before cuz appearently she went all insane after my parents got married but that clearly did not work. you can probably conclude thats she is insane. which she definately is. who makes thier daughter wakeup 2 in the morning on the first day of school to wash dishes. & the best part: FOR NO REASON. although i wouldn't wish for her to die or anything. non-existance or divource would be just fine. (but that's not gonna happen anytime soon.) and i feel urber-ly depressed today. it's funny that it's groundhog day.

1 comment:

  1. i know how you feel. i hate my mom too. im 11 years old. im not just saying this bcuz of one thing- bcuz it wasnt one thing. my mom lies to me all the time and hides her boyfriend and even me and my brothers know it. my mom always interogates us with so many questions and never leaves us alone. i always have the thought of living with my dad and i know it would be so much better bcuz he even knows my mom is crazy and he understands me and my brothers. my mom always acts like such a "nice" and "caring" person when we are with other people or my friends but when there is no one else with us shes a completly different person. she thinks that we are so stupid. and your not supposed to lie to your kid. i know how you feel.