I Hate My Mom.

journal entry #4
Sometimes i really hate my life. its amazing how one person can change everything. in this case from happy/neutral to tearshedding outrage + anger (on my part). + obviously i'm talking about my mom. she is so full of bullshit and evil. i don't know how the world could produce such a thing. i know kids that say that say they hate their parents but they really don't they're just saying it. simple everyday annoyances do not count for you to hate them. that's normal. like my dad can be annoying but i still love him. always will.

i know you probably hate/strongly dislike the fact that i honestly hate her but you just don't know her or what i've gone through. i'm not persuading you to hate her or anything, this is just a post. (it's funny cus all my friends are scared of her lol) Do you really think i haven't thought long and hard about it. ofcourse i have! & it is so hard. no child wants to hate their mom. but i've denied it for so long and by the time i realized it, i couldn't keep lying to myself. i've given her so many chances of being a better person but i just end up dissapointing myself. things will never change. this is just the way it is.

i hate that everything i do i wrong.
i hate that my mom favors my brother.
i hate that i can never depend on her.
i hate that she doesn't act like a mom.
i hate that she's delusional.
i hate that she punishes me for no reason.
i hate that she thinks shes always right.
i hate that she lies to me.
i hate that she thinks i'm a liar.
i hate that she never listens.
i hate that i can never go out or enjoy myself when shes around.
i hate that she drives me crazy.
i hate that my dad won't defend me.
i hate that my brother makes the situation worse.
i hate that she makes me depressed.
i hate that she makes me feel guilty.
i hate that she thinks i'm a bad person.
i hate that she can never change.

She has also gone to a tharapist before cuz appearently she went all insane after my parents got married but that clearly did not work. you can probably conclude thats she is insane. which she definately is. who makes thier daughter wakeup 2 in the morning on the first day of school to wash dishes. & the best part: FOR NO REASON. although i wouldn't wish for her to die or anything. non-existance or divource would be just fine. (but that's not gonna happen anytime soon.) and i feel urber-ly depressed today. it's funny that it's groundhog day.